MONDAY NIGHT RAW 900th episode (Inside the Arena edition)

Show started at about 815pm, but that place was jam packed way ahead of time. If you can visualize yourself standing on the entrance ramp looking down towards the ring – my seats would be to your right. First row loge slightly diagonal to the entrance ramp. Perfect unobstructed view, and close enough to feel the heat from the pyro.

Justin Roberts got the first pop of the night when he took the ring after a lengthy match-for-match recap of Wrestlemania 26. He announced an opening video montage, followed by a brief pyrotechnics display and then SUPERSTARS taping. My boy “The Fortunate Son” Ted Dibiase w/ Maryse entered first. His opponent for the night was Goldust and the two had a good match, nailed all their spots and took it outside the ring. After a close calls and reversals, Dibiase got the win with Dream Street and posed with Maryse. It’s interesting to watch all the production that is really going on, from the lighting to the pyro set-ups to camera angles. Maryse and Dibiase posed on the entrance ramp and kissed. Then the camera man held up his hand to tell them “one more time” so they did it again for the camera. Then he counted them out with his fingers and cut filming. Little things like that.

Santino and Kozlov got a big pop, and Santino beat one of the Uso bros in a singles match when Uso hit Santino’s knees with his top rope splash. The love affair with Snuka’s daughter continued when she gave him her lei after the match.

Finally RAW started and we were off. They did the live USA spot on the lead in, and filmed a bunch of signs. What I remember most about the night was the distinct lack of wrestling action. It was all a lot of pomp and little circumstance. Big exiting entrances, talking, then darkness and waiting. Morrison and R-Truth did a funny little riff on Drew’s Scottish accent before their match. I thought the crowd was flat for most of the opening acts. They show A LOT of commercials in between matches, if not just leaving us in darkness for minutes on end.

I think the biggest pop of the night and most fun was definitely CM Punks’ “Stone Cold” tease. That even had ME on my feet in anticipation. The second biggest pop of the night was Randy’s first RKO after the crowd had been chanting, followed by an even bigger pop when he immediately hit his second one. When the GM announced Bret vs. Taker the crowd was audibly displeased. Like it was a heelish decision on behalf of the GM.

A bunch of stuff happened, I’ll have to rewatch to see what wasn’t on camera. The one “real” match we had going (Swagger and Bourne) didn’t even get going before Alberto’s entrance drew all eyes away from the ring. I know Sheamus came out during what must have been a commercial break and cut a promo on Triple H. But then Edge cut him off and dueled with him a little on the mic, calling him “Beaker” from the Muppets and doing the little impersonation. Then Sheamus went backstage just to come out again with full music for his entrance.

The main event was over in a blink of an eye, obviously. So fast it didn’t even really register the surprise ending. We got up to leave a little disappointed cuz we didn’t actually see any action. But then they started setting up the cage (the little one I saw last night in Springfield) and FINALLY the crowd started getting going. They announced a triple threat WWE match with Sheamus versus Cena versus Taker!!!

Sheamus first, followed by Cena – both still “selling” their injuries from their match 2 minutes prior. Finally Taker who always moves with a pronounced limp. Started fast with Sheamus getting pinned between the ropes and the cage with a big boot, knocking him out where he lay motionless for the rest of the night. Then we got a preview for Wrestlemania 27 (???) when Cena collided with Taker. VERY good and fun, back and forth, reversals, fast paced. But still brief. Taker did “old school”. Cena gave him an Attitude Adjustment. Finally at the end, Taker tied up Cena in the Hells Gate allowing the NOW moving Sheamus to slide out of the open cage door and win. I think that, and the opening Dibiase match, were the only bits of wrestling we saw.

Overall, 3.5 out of 10 for the lack of surprises, madd delays and minimal wrestling. After letting it sink in for a while, the CM Punk bit hyping the Rock and Stone Cold was severely depressing!

SMACKDOWN LIVE House Show

August 29th was my sons 5th birthday (and 5th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina). The main event for the evenings festivities was my presentation of these two tickets. The look of suprise and anticipation on his face was all worth it.

Sprinfield is about a two hour drive from Broken City. Show started at 5 at the old Mass Mutual center. Very quaint feeling, like one step up from an indy show. There were rows of folding chairs set up around the ring, but the last 15 rows of each were completely empty. Contrast that with full balcony seats all the way around. Seems like a shame to waste such primo seating, but oh well. Our seats were first row fold-outs, just beyond the circle of chairs around the ring. Perfect seats, with a clear view and very close to ringside. My 5 year old have an unobstructed view.

WWE has a very strict policy about photography and filming, as they remind you on every written notice and pre-recorded segment before the show. But, just to be dicks, they then lowered the arena lighting to BARE minimum visibility levels. Seriously, it was like watching wrestling in a strip club or something. They briefly shone the spotlight on wrestlers as they entered the match, but from there they were wrestling in dusk.

Santino Marella’s theme song opened the show to huge cheers. He and Kozlov beat Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer in the opener. I never understood the new general WWE direction until I saw this match live with my 5 year old son. The comedic stylings and humourous antics of Santino and the others (stuff you and I would roll our eyes at or dismiss completely) went over like GANGBUSTERS with the kids in the crowd. I mean laugh out loud funny at Santino’s little “my butt hurts” strut after eating an atomic drop, or his big climatic “Cobra” finisher (that actually pinned Hawkins). Not bad. After the match, Alberto Del Rio ran in and attacked Santino, then cut a promo saying HE should be in the main event instead of facing Chavo Guerrero later tonight. Big boos.

TYLER REKS (looking the same, yet almost unrecognizable like a big, dreadlocked barbarian – a taller version of Taz 2000) lost to Christian in the second match. The Bella Twins BEAT Lay Cool after the old Killer Bees switcheroo routine. Man, they are SO fine in real life. Like, the finest women in the world. There was a brief intermission.

CM PUNK came out to a HUGE reaction. Mostly boos, but the only 3 signs in the audience were all pro-Punk. He cut a long pre-match promo, riffing on the city and getting heat, and making sure his opponent for the night got cheered. CM Punk then beat MVP in match of the night. Couple of close calls, very Pro-MVP crowd (his name is easy to chant) and some near falls at the end that the crowd totally bought. He finally lost to the GTS but got cheered when he left the ring. Alberto Del Rio beat Chavo with his armlock submission. Another false ending with Chavo hitting the frog splash, but Alberto barely getting his hand on the ropes. The armlock looks awesome in person.

Main event was Kane beating Big Show in a steel cage (the little miniature mesh version) after CM PUNK slid a chair in the ring and Kane DDT’d Show onto it. Big Show is very poor. I saw him live at Survivor Series 08 most recently, and tonight too – there’s just a lot of space in his moves. They’re not tight or snug at all. Even his headbutts clearly miss by inches, and his punches are so obviously and weakly pulled. He chokeslammed Kane to play his music and end the night with cheers. Was over by 7:30 pm EST. Good times. 900 RAW next!!!!

RESPECT THE SHOOTERS & HOOKERS

WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

(As a die-hard Hip Hop addict, I strongly believe in the art of "Mash-Up Radio" IE: taking two completely different genres or sounds and blending (or "mashing") them together to form something new. This Press Conference skit is an example of MSD's "MASH-UP" wrestling. What you are about to read is word-for-word answers (unless bolded) from the mouth of the UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. Credit for the orginal interview at the end).

"BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING” (BCCW) is the newest Pro Wrestling endeavor to be launched in the North East – territorial hotbed and home to some of the most illustrious history in the game.

The return of the art to Broken City couldn’t have come at a more crucial time, as the recession continues and Television ratings stagnate. We’re in the home of gangsta rap, firearms and crack rocks – a place where we respect the HOOKERS and the SHOOTERS.

Joining us tonight for the first pre-show press conference, the legend LOU THESZ – who has held the Undisputed World Championship for a combined total of 10 years, 3 months and nine days (3,749 days total) – longer than anyone in HISTORY.

Among his many accomplishments, he is credited with inventing a number of professional wrestling moves such as the belly to back waistlock suplex (later known as the German suplex due to its association with Karl Gotch), the Lou Thesz press, STF and the original powerbomb. He is the UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.



MSD: Mister THESZ? Welcome to BCCW. Can you tell us a little bit about the belt you currently hold?

LOU THESZ: The first time I won the Title it was the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship - not the NWA because the NWA didn't exist at that time. Anyway, there was a National Wrestling - not an Alliance - but a National Wrestling Association and that was composed of Athletic Commissioners appointed by the respective governing bodies of each State and this was known as the National Wrestling Association and they had a lot of clout - if you were suspended in California then you were also suspended in New York.

MSD: Well you’re here today in Money Massachusetts, and the man around these parts is a young brother by the name of JOHN CENA. What are your thoughts on him as a championship contender?

LOU THESZ: Well, with the advent of TV and so forth, the hype began and the rest of the story you know.

MSD: No, I don’t. Are you saying JOHN CENA is just TV hype?

LOU THESZ: Well, overexposure could be a problem, particularly with TV because its on the tube and they (World Wrestling Entertainment) run it over and over again kind of like a broken record. But so far as traveling internationally, you really kind of evade the problem because you're in so many different places like in India and Australia and they didn't have the TV situation like we do in this country, they do now but 25-30-40 years ago they didn't. But over-visibility is a real problem. Jack Dempsey once said, "...the wrestling game is going to hurt itself because you show it over and over again on TV", and he said, "How much rice can a Chinaman eat?" And it's true, you know. It's a repetition thing.

MSD: Now, pro wrestling sports entertainment is broadcast in more than 145 countries and 30 languages.

LOU THESZ: Traveling internationally is a very challenging thing especially with foreign referees, because you get a local boy and the referee's got to live in that town and no matter what happens you're not going to get preferential treatment, he is. That happens frequently. So that's when we had to come in with that rule about "No Title change under disqualification". They could disqualify you for using a legitimate hold. But anyway, it was a real adventure running around the world wrestling the local Champion. By the time we would get in with the local guys, the local Champion we knew if he was a wrestler or not because we hustled and worked out with some of the people he trained with, so it was an adventure and it was an exploration. Every one of them was a little different until video came out...



MSD: JOHN CENA is a 9-Time World Champion, 3x US champion and 2x Tag Team Champion. Surely that kind of impressive track record is evidence enough of his titanic wrestling abilities?

LOU THESZ: I didn't disagree with what he was doing at all as a matter of fact he was not a bad wrestler, a lot of people didn't know that, he was a pretty good heavyweight wrestler. So far as publicity and stuff, I thought the guy did a fantastic job of hyping himself and if anybody had challenged him at ringside they'd have made a big mistake because he’s like a buzzsaw. I saw him deck a lot of people. People think that because they wear a fancy robe and do something like show business, and you know, milking the people as it were that they don't have ability.

MSD: He’s also a big time Hollywood action film star too. I don’t know if you had a chance to view “The Marine” yet? Classic material.

LOU THESZ: Absolutely because it's mutual respect because when you get down to fine sand, which is an old expression they used to use, but it's the way we play the game. You can meet some great people, there'll be some movie people there … some of them are really the cream of the crop, really great people. People in the movie industry, we have a lot of big names, I think Kirk Douglas is going to be at my table this year.



MSD: We’ve had some tough negotiations with various wrestling deities throughout the time spectrum during this Draft Process – and we’ve found many of these men severely lacking in testicular fortitude to make the commitment. What are your thoughts on young champions like JACK SWAGGER and DESMOND WOLFE (aka NIGEL MCGUINNESS) accepting the Broken City Throwdown?

LOU THESZ: They came along just about ten years after I came off the road, I was still wrestling some matches but I didn't go on the road. Both of them are great athletes, both of them are damn good wrestlers and great all around athletes and I'm very good friends with both of them and I admire both of them a lot.

MSD: Let me get some of your thoughts on the wrestlers not man enough to make the trip…

LOU THESZ: Oh well sure, I wrestled them all. I wrestled Funk and also Race in Japan. And Terry, Terry Funk I wrestled him somewhere in Texas.

MSD: How about KURT ANGLE?

LOU THESZ: KURT ANGLE? The wig-wearing, McMahon-kissing circus clown? People call him a great wrestler… please... Now GEORGE TRAGOS - he was a great wrestler, three time Olympian, and the greatest in this country from Greece and represented Greece in two Olympics and the United States in one. A super wrestler and learned a little bit later by taking on all comers in carnivals and circuses and so forth, he learned the art in this country and they all exchanged these things and just to perpetuate the sport in this country why they would torture each other. And little by little, in England they had some very good wrestlers at that time and they'd just go up and down the road with the carnivals and circuses and clean everybody's plow because they'd have a good wrestler and a good fighter with each show.

And I really wanted to get into that when I was a youngster about 17 - 18 but that when Ed "Strangler" Lewis and Ray Steele and George Tragos they counseled with me and told me not to do it because it would lower my image. Looked like I had something coming because at that time there was a kind of pecking order with the wrestlers and, I don't want to say this boastfully, but the people who could really wrestle were the ones who emerged. Today that's another story...



MSD: There’s a guy, DKBroiler who’s corralled the services of BRUNO SAMMARTINO by promising him a much more relaxed schedule…

LOU THESZ: When I was NWA Champion I wrestled him in Toronto, Canada… (Frank) Tunny was the promoter.

MSD: What type of match?

LOU THESZ: It was a wrestling match, it lasted about 30 minutes and I pinned him.

MSD: Wow, so you’ve done it all so far. Except compete in the Broken City Slaughterhouse, where true wrestling reigns. Where we respect the Hookers and Shooters.

Lou Thesz: I'd say about a halfway shot. The ones that you mentioned are not really died-in-the-wool wrestlers, and they may be advertised as such, but if you're talking about hookers, well no...

MSD: Have you ever been to Broken City?

Lou Thesz: Studio City, at the Sportsman's Lodge. And this is kind of a coincidence, when I used to wrestle out there 35-40 years ago I used to go to the Sportsman's Lodge for dinner - it was the favorite place for the movie stars, but I didn't go there for that, I went there because they had the best food in town. They had, like a moat and it was filled with rainbow trout, so you would catch your own trout, give it to your waiter, he would give it to the chef and fifteen minutes later you'd have it on the table.

MSD: Have you heard about the guys that drafted HULK HOGAN and ULTIMATE WARRIOR?

LOU THESZ: Oh yeah, sure, up around Minnesota. Sure, if you didn't have any money and nowhere else to go you'd go to work for the carnivals. You could feed the elephants or wrestle... (laughs)

MSD: Can you tell us the difference between men of your breed, and softer guys - the "carnival people" - who lack heart, like BROCK LESNAR or GOLDBERG?

LOU THESZ: Well, the carnival people were there to entertain people, not to lose money. They were not too fond of that idea, but nevertheless they would take on all comers and as I said earlier, they would always have one knockout fighter in there and one wrestler who really knew how to take care of himself, they were called "Hookers" - they knew how to hurt people is what I was trying to say. They could go in there and have an exhibition with someone and if he wasn't too tough they could have a real nice match and entertain the people and so forth, but if it was a heads up contest, and it became a matter of who could take care of themselves and who could not, and some of these people were really tough customers, and they'd break your arm or a leg in a heartbeat without taking a deep breath because they may have lost $2, you know?

MSD: I do. Well the draft wheel continues to spin, and I want to thank you Mr. Thesz for taking time out of your busy training schedule to attend this press conference.

LOU THESZ: It could be a tough call...

MSD: Well you’re back, you’re in the best physical condition of your life and you have a lot to prove in our new Testing Ground. How will your story end?

LOU THESZ: Well it’s my life of running up and down the road, formerly an amateur wrestler and then somebody offered to pay me for doing what I liked doing most, and I went ahead and did it. It's just the story of a young wrestler who survived living in the Depression. The Depression was a very difficult time, this country was in big trouble and a man with a family, if he could get a $10 a week job he was lucky, you know.

MSD: And now we’ve got Fantasy GM’s hiring slobs like RAVEN… MICK FOLEY…and drunks like the SANDMAN… it’s like they’ve got no pride in themselves or their organizations.

LOU THESZ: Oh yes, and these people took a lot of pride in what they did and they would give you the knowledge, it was unbelievable because you could not pay them to do it, they either wanted to do it or they did not, and to use that word "professional wrestling' is what they wanted to do... It gets to be your livelihood...

MSD: Nowadays, guys like THE MIZ and RANDY ORTON are considered top-shelf talent. Both of them went ahead of YOU in this draft!

LOU THESZ: Nevertheless we went up and down the road, we look back now and in retrospect we say it was tough, but we didn't think so because that's the way it was... [b]and I’m about to show these young bucks just how it is. [/b]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Suddenly, the press conference is thrown into a tizzy when a belligerent (and slightly buzzing) BOBBY “the BRAIN” HEENAN makes his way into the press row. At first he’s talking on a cellphone.



BOBBY “the BRAIN” HEENAN:
That’s right, tickets are going on sale.
Well don’t get smart with me, I’ll slap you in the mouth.
Do you want me to knock ya down???
…I’ll talk to you later mom”.

MSD: What are YOU doing here, HEENAN???

HEENAN: How about THIS? (holds up a second title, indistinguishable from afar). This happens to be the REAL championship belt!!!

MSD: That’s not LOU THESZ’s Undisputed Heavyweight Championship!!!

HEENAN: You’re right. Comparing THIS belt to LOU THESZ’s belt would be like comparing ice cream to horse manure.

(Nervous gasps of shock and awe are exchanged throughout the hall)

HEENAN: Comparing the men who wear these belts would ALSO be like comparing ice cream to horse manure.

(LOU THESZ becomes visibly angry)

HEENAN: See, the man who holds this belt right now is under contract to another organization. But in the very near future he may be coming to BROKEN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING. This man is also a longtime, dear personal friend of mine.

MSD: Does he have a name???

HEENAN: YES, he has a name! This man has challenged you, THESZ, on many occasions – unanswered – may I add. You wanna compare them? Fine. Then let’s compare LOU THESZ… to…

(HEENAN’s mic is abruptly cut off when a power surge knocks out the electricity in the hall. Minor chaos ensues as LOU THESZ must be physically restrained from knocking over the press conference table and throttling HEENAN, who thumbs his nose at authority and is ushered out of the building through the back door (still cradling the “REAL” world championship belt)

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Later that same day, JOHN CENA tweeted his response to LOU THESZ’s comments:



JOHN CENA: Social networks were formed so people would have a voice, and an opinion. I know you all have your own, theories and whatnot. I respect that. I have never asked any of you to feel a certaint way about me. I agree with the majority of you who are caught off guard by this choice. I know I'm not exactly appreciated by all, nor do I care to be, but I believe what I believe. I was taught to stand up for what I beileve in. I tried and failed, so I could use some help. Tell me how to sign and I will. If for nothing else, to at least have a chance to have a match with him after what was done. I know that seems a bit more fair. Give me a chance to have a fair match with him. Sorry for the long message, I know I am probally way out of line, I am sorry if I have offended anyone. But like me or not That is what Hustle. Loyalty. And most importantly Respect means to me.

CREDITS:

(LOU THESZ quotes: Copyright 1998 - Jeremy Hartley and Jump City Productions.

JOHN CENA quotes: Twitter reaction to release of DANIEL BRYAN)

CHAPTER 12 (Verse II)

I called it in the beginning: Boston wins in 6. And after a less than stellar start, we are right where I predicted. Sitting on the cusp of another remarkable NBA title victory.

It’s been an absolute war - both teams ravaging each other, secondary players stepping up while starters faltered, and superstars resting on their laurels one game then adding to their legend in the next. This is arguably one of the greatest NBA Finals played in recent memory.

Game 4 was the Shrek & Donkey show, as two of the most engaging personalities on the Celtics bench – Big Baby Davis and Slam Dunk Champ Nate Robinson – stole the whole f’n show. So bad, Phil Jackson couldn’t even comment on the Lakers futile attempt to halt the opposing bench that night.

Game 5 saw da Kid KG return to form with his best all-around game this post season. 18 points, 10 rebounds, 3 assists, two blocks and a CHRIS PAUL-like 5 steals, while hitting his first 5 shots of the game. Even as rival coach PHIL JACKSON swore up and down on the sidelines that the Celtics “know how to lose in the 4th quarter”, the mean Green machine held on tight for the V. Kobe Bryant continues to inspire panic and constant hand-wringing, but the sheer volume and magnitude of the Celtics are simply becoming overwhelming. There are just too many angles to beat you by.

And fittingly, after all our talk about bastard NBA refs and their chronic inability to project a clean series… PAUL PIERCE had to go and be a hero to us all by socking a damn ref in the face like a UFC fighter. And getting away with it!!!

Celtics in 6, see you at the Victory Parade.

CELTICS versus LAKERS Chapter 12 (Verse I)

BLOODLINES that BIND

How many generations have been impacted by this rivalry. Boston sports do hold their grudges deeply, whether it's versus a Yankee or a Laker. 12 times over the span of 50 years these two teams have met in the NBA finals. Scattered within the context of that 50 years is a lifetime full of stories. This one story is from Chapter 12.

I watched on in grimness as the Celtics bottomed out the Atlantic Division. I saw them make a move for KEVIN GARNETT and get rebuffed, only to swing a 2nd choice deal to land RAY ALLEN (which then changed KG's mind again and the Big 3 were Reborn). In 2008 I was at the Victory Parade with my G-Team, so soon after a record-shattering 39 point murder of KOBE BRYANT's Lakers. After a lost 2009 campaign, riddled with growing pains (typical of newer teams but down right devastating to older players) we watched the LAKERS return to the pedestal of NBA Champions like the pro wrestling heel who can only steal the title when the baby face isn't looking.

Finally 2010 brings the real cream of the crop back to the top, for that big-time blow off series. The one to define history. And as the series progresses past the two game mark, all I've done is bear witness. And I don't mean Cleveland. Since the series began I've been reminded of:

* Paul Pierce and Ron Artest locking and scrambling like a pair of Jiu-Jitsu fighters in the opening 30 seconds of Game One. Reminds me of Kevin McHale's flying clothesline to Kurt Rambis to really set off the series in Chapter 8. Good old fashioned hard-nosed brutality is what we demand of our most fiercest warriors.

* Pao Gasol reinventing himself as a modern day Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with a touch of Wilt Chamberlain mixed in (14 rebounds a game). Andrew Bynum is the alternate universe Bill Walton, wearing the black jersey of the opposite team.

* Rajon Rondo channeling the great warrior spirits of Hakeem Olajuwon (with his little off-hand fake move that he pulled off in Game Two, reminiscent of Olajuwon's' most famous fake-out of David Robinson) AND Oscar Robertson (triple double, bay-BEE!!!)

* The aforementioned Bill Walton AND Kareem Abdul Jabbar holding court to honor the recently deceased John Wooden. Chills.

* Nate Robinson = Gerald Henderson.

* KOBE BRYANT almost sticking it to his enemies REGGIE MILLER-style when he hit a deep 3 pointer with a second left to end the first half. Then immediately stole the inbounds pass and almost got another shot off to earn them a quick first-half ending flurry.

* And of course, Jesus Shuttleworth himself breaking NBA Finals history with an unbelievable 8-11 3-point display (7-7 to start the game!) Spike Lee couldn't have written a better finish.

* The football/soccer hooligan playing styles of Glen Davis and Nate Robinson, never on display more as you watch Nate Robinson aggressively cutting and bouncing past is opponent like a running back amongst the Redwoods. Glen Davis' undersized yet cataclysmic block of Andrew Bynum in Game 2 raised his stock higher than Lawrence Taylor in the End Zone. That it was ruled a foul was inconsequential, the message was sent. Speaking of bad calls...

I hate to end the bit on a sour note, but how can you not notice the officiating??? Game 2 especially was clearly a Celtics gimmie. The phantom 4th foul on KOBE BRYANT that halted his momentum and took him out of the game just as he started cooking on all Greatest Player Ever cylinders. That he finished so poorly from the field in Game 2 is a reflection of the referees attempts to thwart his momentum and take him out of the groove and out of the game.

The blatant and terrible misappropriation of instant replay. Do you see now why other sports don't want it? During a key possession late in Game Two, as Pau Gasol and KG wrestled for an errant rebound, the ball went out of bounds. One ref called it Green, the other Yellow. Game halts and Instant Replay breaks out. This is GREAT. There's no disputing this is an AWESOME feature and should be absolutely mandatory in all sports. Even the announcers are crowing about the feature, as replays offer no dispute as to who the ball went off of. Kevin Garnett deflected the ball out of bounds, viewable by about a dozen different camera angles. AND THE REFS CALLED IT FOR THE CELTICS. They gave the Celtics BACK the ball, robbed the Lakers of a key possession, disrupted their flow and let the Celtics creep back into the game and steal it in the end. Dangerous Danny Davis style, if anybody gets THAT old school Brockton reference. Unbelievable. And I'm the biggest Celtics mark in the world, and even I could clearly see the refs gift wrapping this game for the Celtics.

But the Celtics won!!! And RAY ALLEN broke the record and there's NO disputing that! More history in the making, and I'll see you again around the 4-5 bend. Let's go Celtics.

Beat LA (again).

Jam'n 94.5 Summer Jam 2010

Yeah, just know my condo is the crack spot
Every single show she out there reppin' like a mascot
Get it from the back and make your fucking bra strap pop
All up in yo slot until the nigga hit the jackpot
• DRAKE “Best I Ever Had”

I had the most WONDERFUL opportunity to attend Jamn 94.5’s SUMMER JAM 2010 yesterday, and it was an event I won’t soon forget.

My experience with SUMMER JAM (and 94.5 to be exact) is minimal at best, even though I still remember when the station first debuted in the early 90s. I did attend SUMMER JAM 2002 at the behest of a woman some years my senior who copped the tix for me (JA RULE was the headliner then).

This year we’re treated to such captivating, incredible, truly-gifted and talented artists like Kevin Rudolf, Taio Cruz and Sam Adams (not the beer). My hands are shaking with anticipation.

I rolled with my little cuz (age 17) as this kind of stuff is more his age bracket than mine (these people consider LUDACRIS “old school”… sheesh). We got to the event, steamrolled through the crowds into our own private supreme parking spot and were ushered right into to our VIP seats. I’m an all-star baby, that’s how I roll. Concert was at the Comcast Center in Mansfield, I was here as recently as last summer for ROCK the BELLS 2009.

Parking is $40.
Drake T-Shirts are $35.
Beers are $9 a bottle.
The tiny little $2 cans of Red Bull are selling for $7.50.

"Do you like school?
NOOOOOO!!!!"

Thankfully my cuz is a MUCH cheaper date than my wife ever would be, so that was much appreciated on my behalf. I think I spent $12 total on a tiny-ass hotdog and a cup with ice (and a little Pepsi). The facility was absolutely swarmed by the 94.5 targeted demographic IE: underaged girls attempting to dress provocatively, lame white-boy poseurs and fat chicks with tight dresses. Had to be about 70%/30% female to male ratio. I think I was the oldest person in the entire building (except for LUDACRIS. And BABY. Definitely BABY).

I was forced into a public humiliation by the Navy who pulled me out of the fairway as we made our way around the center, and demanded I do some chin-ups (of which I hit three). They gave me a free pair of sunglasses though!!! Join the Navy now!!! On to the show.

Cambridge white boy SAM ADAMS (direct descendent of former US president JOHN QUINCY ADAMS, so you know he’s got street cred) hit the stage first as the place was still filling up with fans. He did his little white boy schtick, kicked a few of the beach balls back into the crowd and did his WONDERFULLY creative interpretation of ASHER ROTH’s “I Love College” song (cleverly titled “I Hate College”). Come to find out later, NICKI MINAJ would NEVER date a guy like SAM ADAMS. You’ll see why.

KEVIN RUDOLF hit the stage next with his guitar for another 15 minute set. It’s a celebration of Cash Money tonight, and RUDOLF did his “Let It Rock” (sans LIL WAYNE who is currently incarcerated) and “I Made It” singles (which I recognized as the theme song for this year’s WRESTLEMANIA). Short, inoffensive and he got the crowd singing along.

Fat Mellissa from the morning show made an appearance and of course she was flanked by a giant donut. DJ PUP DOG was offering free mix cds while supplies last (if you buy a $35 DRAKE t-shirt first) and CLINTON SPARKS had his own set, rapping and jigging it up on stage while celebrating his signing with Interscope Records (which the crowd could have gave a shit less about). He breezed through a quick set too and I started to have faith that this might not be as bad after all, if they keep getting off the stage this fast.

Fat Melissa from the Morning Show with a donut


The female crowd was absolutely ballistic for NICKI MINAJ, more so than any other act I believe. Every time the hosts shouted her out she got the loudest (shrillest) ovation. When she finally hit the stage you would have thought it was the grand finale. She did her little thing, it was fine. She took 3 minutes to sign a bunch of boobs in the front row. Literally, she was signing girls’ cleavages. She then announced she was looking for the flyest guy in the building to bring on stage and give a lap dance. All 23 guys in the audience started raising their hands but she grabbed an 11 year old boy out of the first row and brought him on stage (!!!!!) She asked his name and age (he was 11) and asked if he liked school. He said “no” to a huge pop. But NICKI doubled back and said “any boyfriend of mine is going to love school, ok?” Honestly I thought this was actually a really cool gesture on her behalf and the crowd didn’t even turn on it. So see, SAM ADAMS??? You’ll NEVER have a chance with NICKI MINAJ if you keep singing “I Hate College”!!! Smarten up, young man!!!

B.O.B. did a little set hitting all his high notes and bringing out LUPE FIASCO for their duet. This was the personal highlight of my night, even if the crowd sat on their hands for my boy LUPE. “Airplanes” was cool though.

They took a brief intermission, and shortly thereafter without warning DRAKE hit the stage to an absolute THUNDEROUS ovation. For some reason, every other word out of DRAKE’s mouth was “FUCK” making him absolutely hardcore and not at all a soft Canadian actor. His act was NOT brief by any stretch of the imagination. Must have been at least 45 minutes long. He fuckin did all his fuckin songs and fuckin shouted out fuckin Lil fuckin Wayne a bunch of motherfuckin times. I just can’t believe how much love this kid gets from Americans. Don’t you know he’s CANADIAN? Didn’t pro wrestling teach you anything??? Speaking of pro wrestling, I’ve heard enough from MICK FOLEY to understand the art of the “cheap pop” and boy is DRAKE the master. “Boston” this and “motherfuckin Boston” that. I’m looking for love in Boston. Can a Boston girl be the one for me? Boston? Boston? Boston? YAAAAAAAY scream the sycophants in the audience. This segues beautifully into “Best I Ever Had” which climaxed with “Drizzy DRAKE” bringing that SAME 11 year old boy from the crowd BACK onto the stage while he chanted “best I fuckin had best I fuckin had”. He brought out BABY for a guest appearence and dude looks SO LAME with 5 huge red stars tattooed on his cranium. Even one directly on the top of his head like a helicopter landing pad!!! NICKI MINAJ came out again during his set for their duet, and there was a madd awkward part where DRAKE tried to position himself behind her and simulate grinding on her huge ass but she ran away from that quickly and he just rolled his eyes and went to the opposite end of the stage. What can I say, she likes pussy better? Then you would think DRAKE would be RIGHT up her alley. DRAKE shouted out LIL WAYNE again and mercifully his set was over. Fuckin.

Drizzy-DRAKE does it North of the border style

During a few lulls in the intermissions, a fight or two broke out on the grass. But there were no guns or knives. Pussy so-called “rap” fans. And the smell of marijuana was only occasional, not pervasive like at ROCK THE BELLS.

But the worst was yet to come. TREY SONGZ. Wow. His set took forever and catered EXCLUSIVELEY to the female crowd, much like most of the other acts. But it was so blatant I felt like we shouldn’t even be there. He was so off-key and melodramatic and absolutely CHEESY. With the big screen showing all his sexy still photos and steamy kissing scenes while the girls in the crowd screamed long into the night. He had ridiculously exaggerated lighting and video montages that just screamed “I am so sexy!” There was even a big-ass spotlight behind him shining INTO the audience that made watching the stage like trying to look into the sun. But wait! Navy sunglasses to the rescue!!! Now the screaming bimbos around us can’t see me dozing off. The whole “slowly take my shirt off in the most seductive manner possible while little girls cheer me on” routine was EXCRUCIATING. And then melodramatically wiping the sweat off his chest while looking like he’s gonna drop his pants, and pandering to the audience to see in which direction he should throw the shirt. And he did it TWICE! Once for the shirt, and again later for the tanktop underneath it. He then brought some bitch on stage, poured water in her mouth from behind and licked the spillage of her neck. SO SEXY. Drizzy DRAKE reemerged again and the two pretty boys divided the crowd up and competed amongst themselves to see who could say the LAMEST, corniest, pick-up lines and get cheered the loudest (“anything he can do with his hands I can do…. With my tongue…” YAAAAAY!!!!) The BEST part of the TREY SONGZ set was when my cousin noticed a digital clock on the side of the stage counting down the minutes of the set. So the next 6 minutes and 42 seconds became an agonizing countdown until he finally left the stage.

OMG TREY SONGZ IZZZ SOOOO HAWT!!!! 224!!!


After his set people started leaving, and RAMIRO and PEBBLES made their customary 15 second appearance by introducing LUDA. He did his thing and finally one set appealed directly to me as a fan. He did all his radio hits, even commented on his 10 year anniversary in the music business (to put it in perspective – my cousin was 7 years old when LUDA debuted). His set was the best, even though for half of the crowd the show was over when TREY SONGZ left the stage.

In conclusion I’m thankful for the free ride, and I’m grateful I got to bring my cuz to his first rap concert. But GODDAMN was it painful in almost every aspect. Being a 30 year old male I was NOT welcome there, I almost felt like I was intruding. To top it all off, on the way home I was bumping brand new WU MASSACRE and DISTANT RELATIVES shit for my cuz and he asked me if I “had anything newer”. Wow. Kids these days…

NXT Season One Finale (recap)

NXT opening montage, highlights from the entire season. Slater pins Jericho, Bryan attacks Cole, Tarver is eliminated. 5 Star video package. The three finalists get their solo shine at the end of the clip.

Cue NXT "8 rookies 8 pros 1 dream" theme.

Fireworks blazing. We're live from Dallas TX for the Season Finale! Cole and Matthews at ringside, they throw it to the host MATT STRIKER in the ring. He welcomes the audience and promises "tonight one rookie's dream comes true". Introduces the 5 eliminated rookies who are sitting peacefully (in street clothes) in the front row. Each get a name introduction.

Next, MATT STRIKER introduces the pros who come out to the NXT theme and line up on the stage (minus Carlito who was recently released for a Wellness policy violation). R-TRUTH proudly brandishes the US championship. CM PUNK comes out with his new black mask (the result of him losing a hair match at the last PPV, "Over the Edge")

Finally Striker intros the 3 finalists - WADE BARRETT (ranked #1), DAVID OTUNGA (ranked #2) and JUSTIN GABRIEL (ranked #3). They make their way inside the ring alongside MATT STRIKER.

Striker congratulates them and recaps their journey on the show. More Ryan Seacrest-type anticipation building. There will be two pros polls tonight, one for each elimination. "The pressure truly increases". He then announces a triple threat match between the finalists next! Back to Cole and Matthews at the announce table. They're hyping up NXT Season 2, starting next week.

Introducing HUSKY HARRIS (3rd generation superstar, BLACKJACK MULLIGAN is his grandfather and IRS is his father). He's 6'2" and 295 lbs. Fat boy with back tats. His Pro will be CODY RHODES. Back to the ring where JERICHO, R-TRUTH and MATT HARDY all make their way ringside to second their rookies in the upcoming triple threat match.

Commercial break.

Outside the arena shot. NXT Season 2 pro JOHN MORRISON is interviewed backstage. He touts his rookie as "a giant redwood tree". Introducing ELI COTTONWOOD. 7'1'' over 300 lbs. Cole says he is a "very strange dude".

Bell rings and we're off in the triple threat elimination match between the 3 NXT Season One finalists. They all size each other up. OTUNGA has silver glitter designs on the back of his skull. OTUNGA gets hit allowing WADE to pursue GABRIEL. Until OTUNGA quickly reenters the mix and stomps BARRETT out of the ring. Now OTUNGA has GABRIEL all to himself in the ring.

OTUNGA whips GABRIEL and clotheslines him twice before going for the pin. Only 2, and BARRETT is back in the ring. He tosses JUSTIN GABRIEL over the top rope and attacks OTUNGA with head butts and turnbuckle slams.

OTUNGA whips GABRIEL and clotheslines him twice before going for the pine. Only 2 and Barrett is back in. Tosses Justin over the ropes and attacks David with head butts and turnbuckle slams. Keeps Justin outside the ring. JERICHO is back at the announce table, screaming at Cole and Matthews to recognize the greatness of his rookie WADE BARRETT. Inside the ring, BARRETT sets up a suplex on OTUNGA but GABRIEL springboards over the top rope for the sunset flip cover. Only 2. Now Wade is tossed by OTUNGA and its Justin and David again. "The A-Lister" David Otunga backdrops Justin over the top rope onto Wade Barrett, who stands outside the ring. David follows them both outside and rolls Justin back in the ring. Only 2.

Justin on offense, kicks Wade again to make sure he stays outside of the ring. Scales the ropes to great anticipation from the crowd and absolutely nails David Otunga with the 450 splash!!! But Wade grabs Justin's ankle from outside the ring as he goes for the pin, and pulls him off Otunga and to the floor. Wade then quickly reenters the ring and PINS David Otunga!!! The A-Lister has been eliminated from the triple threat match!!!

Commercial break.

WADE is pounding on Gabriel in the ring, Abdominal stretch as the announcers recap their individual accomplishments during the season. Pros watch intently from the ramp. Big elbow drop from WADE. Whips Justin to the buckle but misses the running splash. Kicks from Justin soften Barrett up, and he hits the big man with his back roll counter into a spin kick. Justin tries to get the crowd engaged before hitting a Stinger splash in the corner and a springboard body block. Only 2. Barrett fights back and goes for his finisher, but Justin counters into a sunset flip. Jericho on the apron but Wade kicks out. STO from Justin, setting the big man up for the 450. Climbs ropes... launches the 450... but lands directly on Barretts knees! A spectacular counter to Justin's already injured ribs. Small package by Barrett gets the 3!!! WADE BARRETT wins the rookie triple threat match!!!

Jericho in ring to celebrate while the rest of the pros give modest applause and take notes. Wade Barrett wins the match!

Matt Striker on the ramp with the pros, calls for the huddle and asks for the first pros poll of the night. The pros congregate. Back to the announcers Cole and Matthews. More NXT Season 2 hype.

They throw it backstage to NXT Season 2 pro MVP who will be mentoring PERCY WATSON. Flamboyant bald headed black guy who acts fruity and obnoxious. A "self professed ladies man" who wears goofy red spectacles. Meanwhile the props ares still discussing the first elimination.



Commercial break.

ZACH RYDER Season 2 pro. Introducing TITUS O'NEIL. Big deep-voiced bald headed black guy who speaks cordially and looks like a WWE-styled beast. Back to host MATT STRIKER who has the three finalists lined up in the ring. He hits ringside where the eliminated rookies are sitting and ask them who they think should be eliminated.

TARVER chooses himself again. Striker then flips the script and asks them who they think should WIN.
DANIEL BRYAN (big pop) thinks Otunga can't wrestle and Justin can't talk, so WADE BARRETT should win.
SKIP SHEFFIELD "doesn't care" who should win NXT. Good pop for that.
DARREN YOUNG says WADE will win cuz he's built for it mentally and physically. He then heels on Dallas TX real quick and cheers on Wade to a chorus of boos.
HEATH SLATER (minor pop) says WADE will probably win (though he apologizes to the crowd for his answer). Finally it's pro poll time...

WADE #1
The bottom two step forward. More Striker/Seacrest hype. Dramatic pause. Drumroll...

OTUNGA #2!!!!

That means Justin Gabriel has been eliminated!!! He's given the mic where he says he's "Just a kid from South Africa living his dream". But this dream isn't over, so Justin promises to "keep coming back and keep coming back" till he makes it in this country. Showed some passion there. Promises to be world champion someday. Good pop. MATT HARDY gives him his props and Justin is ushered off the show.

Introducing LAY-COOL (first ever female pros). Their rookie is so "teeny tiny". Introducing KAVAL!!! Low-Ki!!! BROOKLYN BABY!!! Will love to see LAY-COOL try to make him "carry their belts". Exciting!

Commercial break.

NXT has been the #1 show on SyFy since it's debut.

Back to Mark Henry, Season 2 pro. Introducing LUCKY CANNON. Looks like Curt Hawkins with darker hair and a shoulder tat. Has a "very interesting story" we're going to want to hear about, promises COLE.

Back to the ring where WADE and OTUNGA are flanked by STRIKER. He announces a final rookie face off. 60 seconds to tell the other rookie why they should be eliminated, and why you should be the winner.

OTUNGA goes first and calls Wade ugly. "You don't intimidate anyone but your dentist". The only triple threat match Otunga wants to see is between Barrett "Aquafresh and Listerine" (minor chuckles from the audience). OTUNGA is the pretty boy. He's not so hot in the ring, but that can be taught. Not charisma.

It's Wade's turn, and he laces into him, saying he's a ratings killer. "I'm a fighter that's why I've got a broken nose". Disses Otunga's flexibility and agility. Add two letter in front of "IT factor" and that's Wade's opinion of OTUNGA. STRIKER calls for the final pros poll..

Introducing Season 2 pro KOFI KINGSTON. Son of WWE hall of Famer MR PERFECT. This man is gonna make his own mark. MICHAEL MCGILLICUTTY(???) Wrestling royalty. Ruthless aggression is back.

Commercial break.

Back to Cole and Matthews who say the voting for NXT Season 2 will be a little different. 50% pros 50% WWE universe. Back to the ring with Striker and the two finalists as the rest of the eliminated rookies look on glumly.

But the MIZ interrupts with a "very important announcement". He's back for Season 2!!! Takes another shot at Daniel Bryan. Introducing ALEX RILEY. Goofy preppy white boy. Looks like another Spirit Squader.

Finally STRIKER announces the last pros poll.

Regal suddenly starts congratulating Jericho, but R-Truth cuts in. Regal disses Jennifer Hudson! Punk agrees but Truth shuts him up. Regal congratulates Barrett again. Pros argue among themselves. Truth gets in Regals face. Regal begs him to do something. Truth jukes and jives and thrusts his hips toward Regal. now Christian jumps in and says Regal hasn't won a fight in years. Jericho tries to calm Regal down but they're talking over each other. Punk walks out. Jericho wants props for being the winning pro. Striker calls for order but Regal shouts him down again.

Back to the results...

....

WADE BARRETT is the winner!!! Announced at 11:01 EST. OTUNGA looks dejected. He gets the first interview. Thinks he's getting punked by Ashton Kutcher. Credits his wife for losing American Idol but being the biggest star that show ever saw. So OTUNGA is still the biggest break out star. Mic to BARRETT for his congratulatory promo. "The era of WADE BARRETT" is beginning. Cue Jericho's theme (Barrett never got the original theme song he "won" on one of the NXT competitions).



Replay of the intro package from the top of the show.

There was only one match (the triple threat) and it was sloppy and poorly timed. The build up for Season 2 was exciting and I'm already wondering where they're going with some of these new guys. I hope the Season One rejects don't get lost in the shuffle, as I'm a big fan of all of them - especially Michael Tarver. The dynamic between the pros was awesome, even though the pros line-up for Season 2 seems a little weak on paper. I thought of the three finalists DAVID OTUNGA "needed" the win the most, so it will be fun to see where things go from here now that Wade Barrett is the chosen one. Can't wait to see Kaval and Joe Hennig next week!!!